The End
by lemonygoodness1998
Summary: Nick's parents are terrible, so when she decides to run away to join the military at her local university all is well. However, there are no female slots left in the program, forcing her to join the force as a male. Can she fit in with the other boys, cope with the stress of hiding her gender, and suppress her budding feelings for a certain corporal? Modern AU
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

Nick's POV

A loud crash sounded from upstairs. Probably a picture falling off the wall.

"She's not good for anything, Martha!" my stepfather shouted. "All she does is karate and sit in front of that goddamn computer!"

"You don't think I know that's all she does!?" my mother yelled back. Another crash. "I may not like her but I got myself into this mess and I have a responsibility to her! We're not getting rid of her!"

"Think of all the money we could save on food, the electric bill, the water bill-"

"Don't do this again! This is more than money. This is about my pride!"

You might think they were talking about the family dog. But no, there were talking about me, their own daughter.

I sat in the closet under the stairs with my laptop open. I had been thinking about doing it for months now, and there I was, the page pulled up and my mouse pointer on the submit button, the closest I had ever come to actually doing it.

I chickened out at the last minute, closing the laptop and putting it aside before covering my eyes with my palms.

Lying back on the pile of pillows I had stolen from the couch, I wondered how my life had come to this. Once upon a time I had had a loving family, but now my older brother was off in college, my dad was dead, my mother had shown her true colors, and my new stepfather was a monster. And here I was debating on whether I should join the youth military training squad at the local university so I could graduate a year early and get out of that godforsaken house.

"I told you I didn't like children when we got married, Martha!"

"And I told you that Nicole was going to college and getting out of the house-"

"How is she going to go to college!? We don't have the money!"

 _The kids that join the military training squad get into the university for free…_

I opened the computer again and sat it on my stomach, typing in the passcode. The moment I pressed enter the sign-up page for the youth military training squad popped up on the screen. I spared a nervous glance to the gender portion of the application, then pulled up my inbox to read the e-mail the university had sent me the first time I applied.

Dear Ms. Johnson:

I am sorry to say that there are no female slots in the youth military training squad remaining for the upcoming school year.

Sincerely,

Farrah Founder

Dean of Admissions

I took a deep breath and clicked "M" and "submit."

I was rewarded with an e-mail in my inbox moments later congratulating a Mr. Nicholas Johnson on his acceptance to the university. I nearly threw up.

I was fifteen, going to college, running away from home, and joining a military training squad disguised as the opposite sex.

The term started in two weeks and I was going to die.


	2. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Levi's POV

The term started the next day and I was already losing my shit. Hanji, the director of the university's medical research department, had already barged into my office twice, Erwin had dumped three loads of paperwork on me, and the new recruits were coming today. And to top it off, that Founder bitch had dropped another bomb on me.

"We've got a new recruit, Corporal!" she said ecstatically.

"I am aware. We have many new recruits. Now, if you'll excuse me-"

"No. I mean that we accepted another young man."

I looked up from my book.

"I thought we weren't taking any more, Ms. Founder," I said tensely. "I was under the impression that we had no more housing available."

She laughed nervously.

"Well, here's the thing-"

"You want him to stay with me, don't you?"

"Right!"

I rested my forehead on my desk and groaned.

"We've already accepted him, so he has to stay somewhere, and you're the only military trainer that lives on campus-"

"What's in it for me?" I interrupted her.

"Excuse me?" she asked with a lilt.

"I asked," I said, standing up and approaching her, "What's in it for me?"

"A fun new roommate!"

"And?"

She sighed.

"And you get to keep all the money that would normally be spent on room and board."

"That's more like it. What is it? Ten, eleven-thousand dollars?" I asked.

"Something like that," she muttered, not happy that I had gotten the money out of her. Her fake smile popped back onto her face. "I'll be leaving now."

"Damn right you will," I said, opening the door for her. She laughed as if I had told a joke.

"You're so funny, Levi!" she giggled, slapping my chest playfully. I scowled and she left with a wiggle of her fingers.

Two hours later the new recruits were arriving, all with huge duffle bags of clothing and toiletries. I was in charge of settling the male recruits into their rooms, a task I was not looking forward to. Fifty sixteen to eighteen year old boys living in the same building had never seemed like a good idea to me, especially when I recalled how destructive I had been as a teenager. Nearly all of the boys had arrived by the time orientation was supposed to start, so I had begun to walk them to the auditorium when I noticed another person coming in through the parking lot on foot. They carried a large green duffle bag over their shoulder and walked with long strides through the parking spaces and onto the sidewalk, coming towards me and the boys. They eventually stopped when they got to the registration table, then continued until they stood in front of me.

Up close I could tell he was a boy, though a slightly effeminate one. He had crudely cut red hair (cut with what appeared to be a bread knife), pale skin marred with thick clusters of freckles, long dark eyelashes framing bright green eyes, and roughly-bitten fingernails. He wore baggy jeans that brushed the tops of his sneakers, a loose blue t-shirt, and a large black jacket despite the Texas heat. All-in-all his clothes were so big that he looked like someone trapped in a circus tent.

"Why are you so late?" I asked roughly. He clenched his jaw and looked to the ground before speaking.

"I had to walk," he answered.

"Well, I can see that," I snorted. The boys behind me snickered and he flushed. "Why didn't your parents drop you off?"

"They… didn't want to," he said. "And I don't have any friends, so I didn't have anyone to drop me off."

Another thought came to me.

"How long have you been walking?"

He looked down at his feet again.

"Two days," he answered. I let out a low whistle and the boys behind me whispered amongst each other.

"I don't know why anyone would be so dedicated to coming to this shithole, but I think I can excuse your lateness this once," I said. "Now come on. We're going to orientation."

Nick's POV

After the orientation (it explained what we would be doing, when lights out would be, etc.), when everyone was heading off to their rooms, I was approached by the man I had spoken to earlier.

His black hair was cut into an undercut, his dark eyes were impassive, his jaw and cheekbones were chiseled, his lips were thin, and his clothes were immaculate. His waist was slim but, given the size of his arms, I would have bet everything I owned that his abdominal muscles were defined and hard as steel. He was the absolute perfect male specimen, and I could hardly speak when I looked at him.

"Are you Nicholas Johnson?" he asked evenly. Even his goddamn _voice_ was attractive.

I nodded once before muttering out a strained "Yes, sir." He took a deep breath.

"At least you have some semblance of respect," he said. "Don't lose that."

"Pardon me," I stammered, looking at my feet. I could see the toes of his impeccably-polished boots. "But what did you want to talk to me about?"

I suddenly felt a hand under my chin. He wrenched my head up so our eyes connected. I shuddered and looked to the side.

"Do you have a problem with eye contact or are you just a disrespectful piece of shit?" he asked.

"I may be a piece of shit but I'm not disrespectful," I said hoarsely. It was getting hard to breathe he was so attractive.

The corner of his mouth twitched, breaking his standard bored expression.

"Anyway, you're coming with me," he said.

"Aren't all the new recruit supposed to go-"

"-and settle in? That's what you're going to do. You're rooming with me." He released my chin and started walking to his room. "Follow me."

My heart stopped.

Shit.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, sir? Isn't the school board going to pitch a fit about a fifteen-year-old boy rooming with a non-minor instructor? And I'm kind of a snorer-"

"Did you say you were fifteen?" he turned around and interrupted me.

 _Shit_.

"Answer me, Cadet."

"I-I skipped a grade and graduated early, sir," I stammered.

"Looks like we have a fucking genius here," he said.

"Thank you, sir."

He turned around and began walking again. I followed.

While we walked he went over the rules of living with him.

"My name is Levi Ackerman, but you will address me as Corporal Levi, Corporal Ackerman, or simply Corporal. I expect you to keep your shit on your side of the room, and I expect that side of the room to be absolutely spotless when we leave for training in the morning. I'm an early riser, so I will be waking you up at around 4:00 a.m. every day. Do not hog the bathroom. I get first shower every night and I expect you to clean up after yourself whenever you do use the bathroom. I am not one for conversation, so don't speak unless spoken to. And last of all," he turned around when we got to the door of his apartment in the music department building, "I am getting ten to eleven thousand dollars to let you stay with me, so don't think I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart. My heart is fucking black, not full of rainbows and butterflies. Don't forget that."

Corporal Levi Ackerman stuck his key in the doorknob and turned, swinging in the door and revealing a spotless, gleaming apartment furnished with a couch, a full bed, a television, a desk and chair, and several bookshelves filled to the brim with books. He beckoned me inside and shut the door.

"That's the bathroom," he said, pointing to a door to the left. Then he pointed to a door on the right. "That's the closet. And that," he said, gesturing to the couch which sat opposite the bed, "is where you will be sleeping."

"Yes, sir," I said quietly.

"Alright then," he said. "I will be taking my shower and reading for about two hours. Do not interrupt me, Cadet."

"Yes, sir."

He went into his bathroom and closed the door. I heard the water turn on. Dropping my duffle and flopping onto the couch, I thought about the mess I had gotten myself into.

If I had been rooming with another Cadet and they found out about me I might have a chance – they might keep the secret and all would be well. But this… If I messed up once I was back at my parents' doorstep. And not only was I stuck with an instructor, I was stuck with one that I knew I would end up lusting over.

In other words, I was fucked. That idea was reinforced when Corporal Levi came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel.

 _Fuck me_ , I thought. _Fuck me into the mattress_.


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Nick's POV

I was awoken in the middle of the night by the sound of the door squeaking open. I surreptitiously stuck my hand under the couch cushions and gripped a knife I had stuck there, just in case.

With one eye open I saw a black figure sneak through the room and over to Corporal Levi's bed, its feet making virtually no sound against the wooden floors. It stopped when it reached the head of the bed, then pulled something from the back of its pants waistband.

I let out a scream (to wake the Corporal up and to distract the figure) and rushed at the figure, tackling it into the nightstand. The figure and I fell to the ground with me straddling it. I punched it once in the face and it was out cold.

The lights suddenly came on to reveal an angry and confused Corporal.

"What the fuck, Cadet!?" he roared in a groggy voice.

"I-"

It was then I noticed the gun in the figure's hand.

I quickly took it into my own hand and emptied the cartridge, sending bullets clinking to the floor.

The corporal was silent until:

"You just saved my life, didn't you?" he said.

I nodded through my panting.

The Corporal slowly got out of bed and knelt beside the figure, carefully examining it. It was a man in his late twenties with dark skin and a scraggly black beard, tight jeans and a leather jacket. After a quick pat-down I found two knives strapped to his ankles and quickly removed them.

"What exactly happened?" Corporal Levi asked, not taking his eyes off the man.

"I woke up and there was this black shadowy figure standing over you and it took something from the back of its pants and I tackled it and punched it in the face-"

A hand touched my back. I flinched.

"Calm down, Cadet," Corporal Levi said, rubbing circles into my back. "Thank you."

"Thank you for not killing me."

The corner of his mouth twitched.

"Did you knock him out with a single punch?" he asked. I nodded. "That is impressive, Cadet."

"Thank you, sir."

He clapped me on the back and retracted his hand, reaching for his phone.

"I'm calling this into the police," he said. "Who knows how long it'll be before he comes to."

"I'll be poised to strike," I said with a nervous laugh.

Levi's POV

After two hours of police questioning us and searching the apartment, we finally got to sleep at around two in the morning.

Training the next morning was a disaster. The burlier Cadets could give me twenty to thirty pushups, but the rest were left trembling as they struggled to get to the ground for the fifth or sixth time. They were remarkably slow when running laps. They could hardly make it through the obstacle course. And they were all panting by the time lunch rolled around.

Despite the fact that the majority of them were shitty failures, several Cadets did stand out: Eren Jaeger, despite being scrawny, pushed through training with a determination that was almost terrifying; Armin Arlert, though physically unable to do a single fucking pushup, had a mind which worked ridiculously quickly; Mikasa Ackerman excelled in nearly everything she did; Jean Kirstein analyzed every move he made so as to put forth the minimum effort for maximum results; Annie Leonhardt showed no emotion, including pain; Reiner Braun was the strongest of the group; Connie Springer was nimblest Cadet I had ever seen; Sasha Blouse had such enthusiasm for everything she did, reminding me so much of Hanji it hurt; and Nicholas Johnson…

What stood out to me about Nicholas Johnson was that he was mediocre. But not just any kind of mediocre – a calculated kind of mediocre. I could nearly see the gears turning in his head as he analyzed how much to pull back to stay in the middle of the crowd, or how many pushups to do before giving up. He was faking mediocrity, and I could tell. Why, however, remained to be answered.

After lunch the kids went to their normal university classes. Johnson milling about at the back of the crowd, trying to find some way around the mob.

"Johnson!" I called. He whipped around, bewildered for a moment until he caught sight of me. He trotted over to where I stood.

"Yes, sir?" he asked. He had his fingers crossed at his side.

"What's with the shit performance?" I asked. He flushed and looked down.

"I'm sorry, sir," he mumbled.

"Don't be sorry. Get better. Stop holding yourself back for whatever stupid reason." He looked up at me with bugged-out eyes. "Yes, I noticed."

"H-How-"

"You're easy to read, Cadet. I could have all your secrets figured out within ten minutes if I so wished." His eyes darted to the sides and his blush deepened.

"I just don't want any recognition," he murmured. I grabbed his chin and made him look at me, just like I had the previous day after orientation.

"Look at me," I said. "Why don't you want recognition? Isn't that what all you little shits want out of this?"

He shook his head.

"No, sir."

I let out a puff of air dangerously close to a chuckle.

"Listen. I want you to find something that makes you overwhelmingly happy or whatever, something that makes you so determined to do well in training that you come out on top. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," he said.

"Now run your tiny ass along to classes."

"Yes, sir," he repeated, then jogged to catch up to the rest of the Cadets.

That night I sat in my desk chair reading a laughably racist Bill O'Reilly book when I heard the kid gasp. I turned myself around to see him staring at his laptop screen in horror.

"What's wrong, brat?" I asked disinterestedly, already looking back to the book.

No response.

I shrugged it off and read a bit more, but it was only half a minute before Johnson yanked his headphones out of his laptop and asked me if this was the music building.

"Yes. Only speak when-"

"So there's probably a little room full of instruments somewhere in here, right?" he interrupted me.

"Yes, right down the hall. _Don't speak unless_ -"

He stood up, without looking at me, and grabbed his jacket before heading to the door.

"I'll be right back," he said evenly and walked out of the room, quietly closing the door as he left.

"What the hell?" I said to no one.

I got up and looked at the boy's computer. On the screen was a newspaper article from the local advocate describing a missing girl and her parents' statement to the community.

"We just want our baby back home," the girl's mother had said. The stepfather had echoed the statement.

And beside the headline was a picture of a girl that looked exactly like Johnson.

I grabbed my jacket and keys and left, locking the door behind me, to go searching for Johnson.

It was a little-known fact that I was an insomniac, and an even litter-known fact that I played the piano. I normally snuck out of my room at all hours of the night to play the keyboard in the little music room down the hall in order to put me to sleep, so I knew exactly where Johnson would be. When I stopped outside the door I heard harsh strumming on a guitar, and then a voice.

 _Beware, beware, be skeptical_

 _Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold_

 _Deceit so natural_

 _But a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning!_

 _Bah-bah black sheep, have you any soul?_

 _No, sir, by the way, what the hell are morals?_

 _Jack, be nimble, Jack, be quick_

 _Jill's a little whore and her alibis are dirty tricks._

I pushed open the door to find Johnson sitting on a stool with a guitar on his lap. He sat facing the back wall, but it was still obvious he was the one singing. He had a rather nice voice, actually.

 _So could you tell me_

 _How you're sleeping easy_

 _How you're only thinking of yourself!_

 _Show me how you justify_

 _Telling all your lies like second nature._

 _Listen, mark my words, one day_

 _You will pay, you will pay._

 _Karma's gonna come collect your debt!_

When I had told him to find something that pushed him through training I hadn't expected it to be anger. He seemed so shy and quiet, not the kind to have any grudges or anger whatsoever. But hearing his angry roars over the nearly violent (yet somehow harmonic) strumming of the guitar made me think there was more to this kid than just his calm exterior.

I quietly walked into the room and closed the door, crossing the floor to sit at the piano bench. I gently opened the top of the keyboard case to reveal eighty-eight gleaming keys. Pressing into them, I played along with the kid to give him some extra accompaniment. He stopped for a moment, then relaxed into the new sound.

 _Aware, aware, you stalk your prey_

 _With criminal mentality._

 _You sink your teeth into the people you depend on_

 _Infecting everyone, you're quite the problem._

 _Fee-fie-foe-fum, you better run and hide_

 _I smell the blood of a petty little coward._

 _Jack be lethal, Jack be slick_

 _Jill'll leave you lonely, dying in a filthy ditch._

 _So could you tel me_

 _How you're sleeping easy_

 _How you're only thinking of yourself._

 _Show me how you justify_

 _Telling all your lies like second nature._

 _Listen, mark my words, one day_

 _You will pay, you will pay._

 _Karma's gonna come collect your debt!_

 _Maybe you'll change._

 _Abandon all your wicked ways._

 _Make amends and start anew again._

 _Maybe you'll see_

 _All the wrongs you did to me_

 _And start all over, start all over_

"Who am I kidding," the kid said, still strumming, going on some kind of angry tirade to himself, "Now, let's not get overzealous here. You've always been huge pieces of shit. If I would kill you I would, but it's frowned upon in all fifty states. Having said that, burn in hell!"

 _So tell me_

 _How you're sleeping easy_

 _How you're only thinking of yourself._

 _Show me how justify_

 _Telling all your lies like second nature._

 _Listen, mark my words, one day_

 _You will pay, you will pay._

 _Karma's gonna come collect your debt!_

He slumped over his guitar and panted, lungs burning from pouring all his anger out into the open.

"Nicely done, Cadet," I said, curious to see what his reaction would be.

I was not disappointed. He fumbled with the guitar and nearly dropped it on the floor in his surprise. His shocked and mortified face appeared over his shoulder.

" _Corporal?_ " he croaked, obviously embarrassed.

"That would be me."

His eyes flitted from me to the piano.

"Yes, I play," I almost chuckled.

"I can tell," he said lowly. That time I did chuckle.

"It looks like we have the same way of blowing off steam," I said. "You're talented, Johnson. Did you write that yourself?"

Turning fully to face me, he nodded and flushed deeply. He looked cute when he did that. Almost like…

"I saw the girl on your computer screen," I said.

His eyes bugged even farther out of his head.

"I can explain!" he said hurriedly.

"Is she who the song is about?"

His chest deflated in what looked like relief.

"No, sir," he said quietly. "The song is about my parents."

"I take it you don't get along with them, then?"

He nodded.

"The girl on the screen is… my twin sister," he said eventually. "I was just so goddamn angry. My parents never loved her. They always called her names and hit her and they once cut her leg so deep you could see the bone."

He subconsciously rubbed his calf.

"And now they're asking for her back like she means the world to them and it just makes me so-"

"Angry," I finished.

"Yeah," he whispered.

After another moment I spoke again.

"This is what I meant about something to push you through training," I said. "Use that anger to fuel you. Let it make you better. I'm sure that's what Jaeger does."

He chuckled as he thought of Jaeger. I'm sure we were both remembering when he collapsed after training because he had pushed himself too hard.

"Thank you, sir," he said after a moment.

"No problem, Johnson," I said as I stood up.

"Nick," he said quickly.

"Hm?"

"Call me Nick," he said, then quickly added, "If you want. You can still call me 'brat' or 'fucktard' or whatever-"

"Nick will be fine."

I offered him my hand to help him up and he hesitantly took it, hoisting himself to his feet and hanging the guitar back on the wall.


	4. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Levi's POV

After our conversation in the music room Nick improved drastically, running faster and doing more pushups than all the other Cadets. This caused quite a stir amongst the Cadets, eventually becoming the only topic of conversation among them in the dining hall.

I sat with Commander Erwin, Shadis, and Hanji (who had just so conveniently decided to eat lunch with the corps) next to a table full of Cadets. I was stuck with the seat closest to them, allowing me to hear every fucking thing they said.

"What kind of steroids do you think the guy is on?" asked one Cadet. Kirstein.

"If he was on steroids he'd be huge. The kid is tiny," said Jeager. The rest of their table agreed.

"Still, I don't know how he could be in the middle of the pack one day and leading it the next. It doesn't make any sense!"

"I think it makes perfect sense," said Arlert. The rest of the table turned to look at him.

"Do explain," said Kirstein with a scoff, clearly thinking that the kid was just making things up.

"He was faking it yesterday."

"What are you talking about? Why would he fake being bad?"

"Just think about it. He's shy. I mean, look at him over there." Arlert cocked his head in Nick's direction.

The boy was sitting at a small table by himself, a burger sitting half-eaten on his plate while he stared out the window.

"Being good would bring a lot of unwanted attention to him. Being mediocre, fading into the rest of the crowd – that's probably what he wanted. The real question isn't why he was faking it, it's why he stopped."

"So, Mr. Genius," Kirstein scoffed. "Why do you think he stopped?"

"Well, he is rooming with Corporal Levi-"

"Wait, he is?" Jaeger interrupted. Arlert nodded. "I didn't know that."

"Really?" Kirstein said sarcastically.

"You wanna go, horse face!?"

Ackerman slapped Jaeger to calm him down. He nursed his cheek, said sorry, and sat down.

"Anyway," Arlert said a bit nervously, "I think the Corporal said something to him that made him try harder."

"Like a threat?" Jaeger asked.

"Maybe."

Nick got up from his table and threw his half-eater burger away before sliding his plate into the dish window. He approached his table again when he stopped and pulled out his phone. He nearly dropped it. Looking around hurriedly, he slipped his phone back into his pocket and rushed into the men's restroom.

"What's up with him?" Hoover asked.

"I don't know," Braun answered. "But I'm gonna go find out."

He stood up and walked to the men's room door, pushing forward and out of sight. I had a sudden feeling in my gut that that might not have been the best idea.

Nick's POV

I leaned against the tiled wall and tried to calm myself down. There was no way they actually knew where I was. They were just bluffing.

I looked back at my phone to read the message again.

 _We know where you are, you little whore. You can't hide from us._

I shoved the device back in my pocket and took deep calming breaths. And then the door to the men's room opened.

"Johnson?" a boy asked when he saw me. I recognized him as the guy they called Reiner Braun.

"That would be me," I said as calmly as I could in the middle of an anxiety attack.

"What's your problem?" he asked. I stiffened.

"Would you like a goddamn list?" I snapped. He put up his hands and took a step back.

"Easy, man," he laughed.

"I'm sorry," I said, running a hand over my face. "I'm in the middle of an anxiety attack right now."

"That sounds like a personal problem," a new voice said. My eyes flitted to the form of Jean Kirstein who had just walked through the door. He was already in the process of unzipping his fly.

"It is pretty personal, so if you would leave me alone-" I said, inching toward a stall. I had no desire to see a penis today.

"I'm a little busy," Kirstein said with a laugh.

"You know what I meant!" I cried. Both Kirstein and Braun laughed this time.

"Just seeing if you need any help, man," Braun said, turning around to leave the room.

"Thank you, Braun," I said quietly, still looking away from a urinating Kirstein.

"Eh, call me Reiner," he said as he left.

"And call me Jean," Kirstein said.

" _There are a lot of names for you_ ," I muttered.

After the bathroom incident we went to classes, then came back for dinner and lights out. After Corporal Levi turned out the light I stuck my hand underneath the mattress to check for my knife. Upon finding that it was there, safe and sound, I went to sleep.

I was awoken by the creak of a window, and from the way Corporal Levi's sheets stopped rustling I knew he had heard it, too. I immediately grabbed my knife and pretended to be asleep, keeping one eye cracked in the darkness. Another black figure crept in through the window and slunk through the room, stopping whenever it hit a creaky spot in the floor. The Corporal let out a fairly convincing snore and rolled over in bed so that he faced the attacker. One of his arms fell off the bed, and I realized that he must have a weapon hidden between his bed and nightstand.

The attacker crept quietly across the floor until he reached me, obviously planning to take me out first so I wouldn't rat it out to the police once the real job was done. It reached for something in the back of its pants and-

"I'd stop right there if I were you," Corporal Levi's voice spoke into the darkness. I heard the click of a pistol.

The attacker dropped whatever weapon had been in his hand, and that was when I struck. I tackled him to the ground, yelling at the Corporal to turn on the lights, and swung my fist in the direction I thought the guy's face would be. The lights came on and I found my fist crashing to the floor as the man I pinned to the ground moved his head out of the way. He rolled me over and attempted to reach for his weapon, but I was faster, planting both my feet into the center of his chest and kicking him off of me.

He landed on my bed and I held my own knife against his throat.

"Could you call the cops, please?" I asked the Corporal quietly. The attacker, a pale man in his late thirties, grinned evilly.

"There's no way I'm letting a little girl beat me," he snickered. My eyes widened.

"Girl?" I squeaked.

He used my surprise to push my knife-wielding arm away from his neck and punched at my face. I rolled out of the way and landed in a crouch, using my position, to spring back to him like a wound spring. I had dropped my knife in the skirmish, so I kicked it out of the way so the attacker wouldn't be able to get it, then settled for sending a strong punch to the attacker's gut. The wind was knocked out of him but he still managed to kick between my legs, sending dull aching pains up into my stomach and around my crotch. I fell back and doubled over.

The man stood up and grinned down at me.

"How do you feel now, little girl?" he asked.

"Don't call him that," the Corporal said, now holding a steady aim at the attacker's head. The man's smile widened to an impossibly evil size, and then his arm whipped around to grab his own gun from the back of his pants.

He took his eyes off of me for a second. I grinned.

I swung my legs around on the floor and knocked his feet from under him, causing him to pull the trigger and shoot the ceiling. I tackled him again and finally landed a punch to his face. He was dazed, but not out, so I punched him again and he was out of the game.

"Where are the fucking cops!?" I yelled.


	5. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Levi's POV

"Okay!" he yelled, obviously a bit fed up with people trying to kill us. "What the fuck is going on!?"

"Excuse me, Cadet?" I said coolly, hoping it would scare him back into timidity; however, it seemed like the timid boy was gone, replaced by someone who wasn't going to take any shit.

"Why didn't you shoot the guy? He was going for the throat!" He still sat atop the unconscious man, pinning his arms to the ground.

"It's a bit difficult to get a good aim when your target is being attacked by a wild animal," I said. I could feel myself starting to get defensive. Not a good sign.

"You could've done it and you know it!" he hissed. "Now, why are all these people trying to kill you!?"

"Lower your voice, Cadet," I told him.

"I will not lower my voice! It is midnight and for the second time in a row someone has tried to kill you! Explain!"

It was then that the university police burst through the door. They looked down at the attacker and lowered their weapons.

"Really?" one of them asked.

After another two hours of dealing with the police and Nick sat on his bed with his head between his knees. I sat in my desk chair facing the boy.

"So you wanted to know why so many people are trying to kill me," I said. He looked up, dark circles starting to make their way under his eyes.

"I'm really sorry I yelled, sir," he said, his timidity coming back. I shook my head.

"You had every right to be fed up, Cadet," I told him. "I'm a bit fed up myself. I've just been around long enough to learn to control it."

"Okay," he said. "Tell me why people are trying to kill you."

"I haven't always been a military instructor," I said.

"I figured that," he said quietly.

"Let me finish, Nick. I have been stationed in both Iraq and Afghanistan. When I was stationed in Afghanistan I made a pretty powerful enemy when raiding an Al Qaida base. They promised that they would kill me, but until last night I thought it was an empty threat. It looks like they've gotten some American Al Qaida operatives to try to assassinate me. Does that answer your question?"

He was silent.

I pressed on my knees and stood up, going back to my bed and sitting on its edge.

"Now you have to tell me one of your secrets," I scoffed as I turned out the light. I could almost hear his eyes going wide.

"Sir, with all due respect, it's probably better for all of us if I keep my secrets to myself," he said into the dark.

I turned the light back on and looked at the boy. He sat on the edge of his mattress with his forearms resting against his thighs, looking up at the ceiling. His eyes seemed even greener in the low yellow light of by bedside lamp, his skin paler, his hair more copper. He had no pronounced Adam's apple, resulting in the line of his throat being a smooth curve that most would die to taste. His ragged nails cut into his palms as his fists balled, his eyes flitted around the room, his pale nostrils flared, his pink lips pouted. I was surprised when I found my heart giving a painful throb.

"Is everything okay, sir?" he asked shyly. Gone was the fiery boy who had yelled at his superior officer and told his parents to burn in hell. This was the timid boy who had faked mediocrity to avoid attention.

I nodded and turned the light out again, but it still didn't get the image of his face out of my head. That was burned to the backs of my eyelids for the entire night.

Nick's POV

We went to bed, we woke up, we ate breakfast, and we headed to training. The only difference this time is that the rest of the Cadets had found out about the failed assassinations.

"Did you hear that the Corporal was almost murdered the past two nights?" a small girl asked her friends. I thought her name was Krista Lenz.

"I think we all heard, Krista," said another girl, leaning her elbow on the blonde's head.

"Don't be mean, Ymir," Reiner said as he ruffled her hair. "This place is already harsh enough without your teasing."

"Why didn't he die?" Jaeger asked.

"Probably because he's a thirty-year-old man capable of taking care of himself," said another girl. Annie Leonhardt. I was sure that was her name.

"Actually-" Armin Arlert began.

"Here we go," Jean muttered.

"-I heard it was Johnson who incapacitated the attackers both times."

"Jesus," Reiner said lowly. "You'd think a little guy like that would be the first to die. I walked in on him in the bathroom yesterday and he was having an anxiety attack. Not the kind of person you'd expect to kick your ass."

"Well, today we start hand-to-hand, so we'll get to see him in action," Jaeger said eagerly. I frowned.

Today we did start hand-to-hand combat training, but first we were going to be evaluated to find out our natural skill level. This was an area I was skilled in (I had taken karate lessons for the past ten years), and I knew I was going to get recognition for it. I was already pushing it by doing as well as I could in the normal drills.

But what Corporal Levi had told me in the music room still haunted me. Use my anger. Show my parents that I wasn't worthless.

I made my decision and lined up to be tested.

When it was my turn I was paired with Reiner. He smirked to himself, obviously thinking his size would be on his side despite the rumors about the previous two nights.

"Are you sure this is such a good idea, Corporal?" Shadis asked the raven-haired man at his side. Corporal Levi nodded once.

"I'm sure," he said.

"Alright," said Shadis. "Go!"

Reiner swept his leg under my feet in an effort to knock me to the ground, but I leapt into the air above his foot. He then simply tried tackling me, a move I quickly dodged and left him grasping at air. The rest of the Cadets in the line laughed and Reiner smirked again.

"You're not as useless as you look," he joked.

 _Useless_ …

When he threw a punch at my face I grabbed his large fist and twisted it, causing him to spin around and land on his face.

I turned to look at the Corporal for approval while Reiner got to his feet. HE nodded and told the large boy to switch places with Annie.

Annie, I could tell by the way she sized me up, had some form of prior hand-to-hand training. She threw a punch and I blocked it with my forearm, aiming my own punch directly at her face. She ducked and kicked at my shin. I jumped, tucking my knees to my chest, and landed in a crouch, ready to spring at any moment.

"Don't hold back because she's a girl, Cadet," Corporal Levi told me. I smirked to myself.

I sprung forward and tackled the girl to the ground, pinning her hands above her head. Shadis blew a whistle and I sat up, sitting on her hips.

"Get up," Shadis said. We both stood and prepared to leave the ring when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning, I saw it was the Corporal. My eyes immediately shot down to my feet.

"Yes, sir?" I asked.

"How much formal training do you have?" he asked, his hand still on my shoulder.

"I've taken karate for ten years, sir," I said. He tilted my head up so I would look at him.

"We need to work on your eye-contact," he said to himself.

I felt myself about to stammer something stupid, so I bit the inside of my cheek to keep my mouth closed. He was just so fucking gorgeous. I had to stop myself from getting lost in his eyes.

"You're going to fight me," he said.

That broke the daze.

"Excuse me, sir?" I nearly squeaked. "Are you sure? I mean-"

"Don't question me, Cadet," he said as he stepped into the ring. The Cadets gasped as he assumed a defensive stance.

Neither of us moved for several moments. The corner of his mouth twitched as he realized I would never make the first move. But he wanted to see me fight, so he had to make a move at some point.

He swung a punch to my gut, but I slid out of the way before it could land. I kneed him in the stomach and my leg came ricocheting back as it hit his rock-hard abs. I tried not to shudder.

He smirked and almost struck my face, but I blocked the punch with my forearm and counterattacked with a fist of my own. It almost hit him in the nose. He swept his leg under my feet and I jumped to avoid it. Swinging again I almost had him in the face, but he grabbed my arm, spun me, and pinned my arm behind my back. I felt his sultry chuckle against the back of my neck and I froze.

"Looks like I win, Cadet," he whispered in my ear. It sent a chill down my spine, but not before I devised a counterattack.

I elbowed him hard in the ribs, stomped on his foot, and knocked the back of my head into his forehead. Finally able to spin out of his grasp, I planted an open-palm strike against the center of his chest. He grabbed my hand and flipped me over his shoulder, but I rolled over my shoulder and landed in a couch behind him, springing forward to knock him to the ground. I pinned his hands above his head.

"You're good, Cadet," he said. I was suddenly on my back with my arms pinned to the ground. I couldn't move, not to kick him in the chest, not to flip him over, not to knock him in the forehead. I was trapped beneath him, and not in the way I admittedly dreamed about at night.

"But not good enough," I finished. The corner of his mouth twitched as he got up, offering his hand to help me up. I timidly took it, trying to ignore the surge of electricity that ran through my veins at the skin-to-skin contact.

The Cadets were silent, shocked I had lasted so long against the man they considered invincible. Then they erupted in roaring applause, clapping me on the back as I headed to the group of those already evaluated.

"Good job, Johnson," Reiner said, when I came to stand beside him.

"Lucky shots," Annie complimented. That was probably all she was capable of giving me.

"Atta boy," Jaeger said, clapping me on the back a bit too hard. I could feel my face heating up in a raging blush.

I looked over at the one person who I most wanted approval from – Corporal Levi. He was looking directly at me.

One corner of his mouth tilted up into a half-smile and he looked away. I almost thought I saw a tinge of pink on his cheeks, but it was gone before I could look again.


	6. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Three Weeks Later

Levi's POV

The moment I locked the bathroom door I leaned against the sink and ran my fingers through my hair. I splashed a handful of water on my face to cool down the raging flush rising to my cheeks. I blinked several times. It was still there.

I decided that a cold shower might clear my head (not to mention calm my raging boner), so I stripped and turned on the water. Stepping under the steady stream of icy water I realized that it didn't help at all. I wrapped my fist around myself and pumped, biting into my other palm to keep in the whimpers. I was so hard it hurt.

Every single goddamn time I looked at him my heart pounded, my cheeks flushed, my blood pumped hard. I prided myself on my ability to control my emotions (or at least control my response to them), but this boy had thrown all of that out of the window. With his vibrant expressive eyes, his constant flush, his adorable freckles…

It was just because he looked like a girl. That was the only reason I was attracted to him, I told myself. I was a straight man. A straight man achingly hard for a teenage boy.

It had all started when he had tackled me in the hand-to-hand evaluation. I had felt his callused hands pinning mine to the dirt, his otherwise soft body fitting perfectly into mine. And when I had flipped him over – it didn't matter that I had won the fight, it had been a big mistake - and seen the flush gracing the apples of his cheeks, the fight in his eyes, the way his chest heaved… I was done.

It was only sexual, I told myself. Not emotional. I was not attracted to his bouts of sarcasm. I was not attracted to his gorgeous voice. I was not attracted to his occasional fiery outbursts. I was not attracted to his usual timidity. I was _not_ emotionally attracted to the kid. I was still straight.

What had gotten me this time was the way he looked in the middle of the night. We had both woken up to the sound of the wind, both worried that it was the window opening. I had turned on the lamp to find him sitting on the edge of his bed with a knife in his hand. His green eyes were wide, his hair was mussed from his pillow, his right collarbone was on display from the way his shirt fell off his shoulder, his long eyelashes cast shadows down his face in the lamplight… And when he stood up to check the window his ass was perfect, even through the thick flannel of his pajama pants. I had immediately stood up to go to the bathroom.

And now there I was with a messy hand and a softening member freshly jerked to the thought of a minor of the same sex.

I was a goner.

Nick's POV

I had been the talk of the Cadets for a while, but that calmed down after about a week. But now I was the number one topic of conversation again and not because I was doing inexplicably well. No, I was being talked about because the Cadets had finally found something I couldn't do.

The rope.

There was an obstacle course in the middle of the laps field, and that obstacle course was the bane of my existence. I had never even made it through because of the damn rope. It was like the rope you have to climb in high school gym classes except even harder because there were no knots. Every time I tried to climb it my feet would slip, my arms would tense, and I would swing back and forth in frustration until the drill instructor told me to get down and let someone else through. It was one of the most embarrassing things I had ever experienced, and I was determined to make it up.

I had talked Corporal Levi into giving me extra time on the rope after dinner.

"How is it done?" I groaned frustratedly, leaning against the wall the rope was attached to. Corporal Levi wouldn't even look at me.

"It's all in the feet, Cadet," he said for the tenth time that night. It was getting dark and I could hardly see the rope anymore.

"You've told me that ten times, sir," I said, running a hand through my messy hair. "And I still have no idea what it means."

He pushed off the wall, pulled his arms from his jacket, and walked over to the other rope.

"Watch closely, Nick," he told me. He threw his jacket on the ground and he started to climb.

He was wearing a wife beater. Oh God.

His feet pressed into each other to grab the rope from the bottom, his arms pulling from the top. I should've been taking notes on his technique, but instead I was mesmerized by the way his arm muscles bulged, the way his expression never changed, the way the sweat from the Texas heat trickled down his muscled back. I unconsciously licked my lips and prayed he hadn't seen it.

He dropped back down to earth with a thud and picked up his jacket.

"And that's how it's done, Cadet," he said to his jacket. He still wouldn't look at me.

"Okay," I said, determined to do it this time. Maybe I could get the image of his perfect body out of my head. "I'm gonna do it."

"Hm."

I jumped and caught the rope, trying and failing to place my feet in the same position I had seen Corporal Levi place his. I coughed nervously.

"What is it this time?" the Corporal asked.

"Could you… put my feet like you had yours?" I asked timidly. He grunted and came over to me, grabbing my ankles and positioning my feet on the rope.

I pushed down and, to my surprise, I went up! In my shock I let go of the rope, falling to what I was sure would be my death, but I landed in a pair of strong arms instead. I looked up, eyes wide, and saw Corporal Levi's face just six inches from mine.

"Sorry," I murmured, sliding from his grasp and standing on my own. I was about to plant my gaze on my feet when I saw an almost unnoticeable tinge of pink on my superior's cheeks.

He looked away with his normal stoic expression plastered on his face.

"Sir?" I asked. He grunted. "Why won't you look at me? I don't think you've looked at me in three weeks."

"That is none of your business, Cadet," he said.

"I think it is my business," I said. "I just want to know what I've done wrong."

He took a deep breath.

"You haven't done anything wrong," he said. "It' just… If I look at you I think I'll do something I'll regret."

"Like what?"

He looked at me. His fists clenched and unclenched and-

All of the sudden his lips were on mine, hot and heavy, and his hands were on my face, holding me in place. My eyes immediately shut as I responded, pressing back as hard as I dared with my inexperience. I felt him take my bottom lip into his mouth and suck, drawing a moan from deep in my throat.

He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine.

" _Like that, Cadet_ ," he whispered.

I kissed him this time, biting down on his bottom lip and drawing out a growl from his chest. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, letting his tongue flit across my teeth and tentatively press against the tip of mine. Both of us shuddered as a spark of electricity flowed down from our mouths and pulsed through our entire bodies. I sucked on his tongue and he pressed my back into the wall, resting his hand on my collarbone, dangerously close to my-

My breasts.

I pushed him off of me and caught my breath, covering my eyes with my hands.

"I-I can't," I stammered. "I'm only fifteen and I have no idea how these sorts of relationships work and I'm-" I cut myself off before I could give myself away. "I just- I just can't do this."

Corporal Levi was catching his breath, too, his lips swollen from my kisses and a raging blush gracing his pale cheeks. He was gorgeous.

I was a liar. I didn't deserve someone like him.

"Let's pretend this didn't happen," I said. "I don't want you getting in trouble."

His standard expression returned as he nodded once.

"It looks like you got the rope somewhat. I think it's time to call it a night," he said.

"Yes, sir," I agreed.

We walked silently back to our – his – apartment. Once we got in Corporal Levi immediately went into the bathroom and locked the door, turning on the shower. I collapsed on my bed, willing the tears not to fall.

I was a girl. Corporal Levi thought I was a boy. If we were to get into a relationship now it would all be based on a lie, and I couldn't do that to him.

No matter how earth-shattering that kiss had been.


	7. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Two Weeks Later

Nick's POV

We had hardly spoken since the kiss. Not that we had spoken much before, but now we could hardly even look at each other. I think we both wanted to say something about it, but Hell would freeze over before either of us brought it up. What could I even say to him? "Sorry, but I'm actually a girl and I didn't want to start a relationship on a lie?" No.

I sat on my bed doing research for a current events project for my English class. Sighing once, I closed my laptop and stretched my arms. I looked around the room in an effort to calm my racing brain when my eyes landed on a box on a shelf above Corporal Levi's desk.

"Is that Cards Against Humanity?" I asked a bit louder than I had meant to. The Corporal let out an agitated sigh.

"Yes it is, Cadet," he said. "From the tone of your voice I assume you want to play it."

"Not necessarily," I said. "Could I just look through the cards?"

He grunted something intelligible that I took for a yes, so I got up and went over to the desk at which he sat. I reached over his head and grabbed the box before bringing it back to my bed. I opened the top and grabbed a handful of white cards.

" _Chunks of dead prostitute_ ," I whispered, reading the cards to myself. " _Grandpa's ashes…_ "

Corporal Levi suddenly got out of his chair and came to sit on the edge of my bed.

"Now you've got me interested, brat," he said. "We each get five white cards."

"Don't you have some shit-ton of paperwork to do?" I asked, already dealing out the cards. This should be fun.

"It can wait."

When he had five white cards in his hand he grabbed a stack of black cards and placed them between us. He flipped one over and I read it aloud.

"For my next trick I will pull blank out of blank," I said. He immediately pulled two cards from his hand and put them facedown on the mattress. "That confident?"

"That confident," he said, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. I stared straight at him as I slapped two more cards down on the mattress. He flipped both sets of cards over.

Mine read: For my next trick I will pull child abuse out of the South.

His read: For my next trick I will pull Mom out of rehab.

"You win," I laughed.

We played several more rounds, him winning all of them except for "We never did find Grandpa's ashes, but along the way we sure learned a lot about Auschwitz." I even heard him laugh at it, a melodic sound that sent a shiver down my spine. But what surprised me the most about the whole experience was learning that Corporal Levi actually had a sense of humor, and a damn good one at that.

"What's the most emo?" he read. I played "kids with ass cancer." He played "emos."

"How did you get so lucky?" I asked with a laugh. "It's a ridiculous."

"Experience and a sense of humor," he said.

"I don't know, 'In M. Night Shimalayan's new film, Bruce Willis discovers that men have really not been contributing to society in any meaningful way all along' is pretty damn funny," I said, recalling one of my better card pairings. "I have a sense of humor."

"Experience, then," he corrected, grabbing the discarded white cards and putting them back into the box.

I studied the way his fingers moved. Looking at them it was obvious he played the piano. Before I could stop myself I asked him about it.

"How long have you been playing the piano?" I asked.

He looked at me strangely before looking back to the box and grabbing another handful of cards.

"Since I was ten, so about twenty years."

"Wow," I said.

"How long have you been playing guitar?" he asked. "You sounded pretty good. I'd say at least three years with formal lessons."

A "tch" came through my teeth before I could stop it.

"My parents would never pay for formal lessons," I said, taking five new white cards. "I found an old guitar in the attic about a year ago and I taught myself."

He looked up.

"You're shitting me," he said. "Not just anyone can do that, Nick."

"Thank you, sir," I said quietly, looking down at my hand of cards. I had "chunks of dead prostitute." Lovely.

"Why do you say your parents would never pay for lessons?" he asked.

I sighed.

"It was more important for me to do well in school," I said. I flipped a black card over and read it. "And the Academy Award for blank goes to blank. If I did well enough in school I would get scholarships and my parents wouldn't have to pay as much for college. Not that they really cared if I went."

He put two white cards down on the mattress.

"Well, they cared enough to send you here," he said. I almost laughed at the irony.

"Because it's free for the military trainees," I said instead. I put two white cards down and drew two more. "My stepfather has explicitly told me that he doesn't care if I do well in life as long as I'm out of his hair. He's even insinuated that he wishes I was dead."

"Stepparents can be harsh," he said. "I had two of them. I would know. But I know my real parents loved me. I'm sure yours do, too."

"You sound like a therapist," I scoffed.

"Mostly because I have no idea what to say to you."

"Fair enough," I said.

After we flipped our cards and decided that he was the winner I thought of something.

"What do you mean 'loved?'" I asked. "Are your parents…"

"Dead? Yes. Drunk driver on their way to sign the divorce papers." I winced.

"That's how my dad went, too," I said quietly. "Drunk driver, I mean. He was on his way to pick me and my brother up from school."

He looked away, obviously uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable," I said. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," he said tensely. "I think we should stop playing. I have a shit-ton of paperwork to do."

"Yeah," I agreed. We put up the cards and he went back to his desk, only looking back at me once.

Levi's POV

At lunch the next day I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, and Hanji noticed.

"So…" she said suggestively, "which one is she?"

"Shut up, shitty glasses," I told her. She squealed.

"So there _is_ someone!"

"I thought I told you to shut up."

"Which one is she? Come on, I want to know!"

Erwin was listening in on the conversation by this time.

"Does Levi have his eye on someone?" he asked Hanji.

"I think our favorite little Corporal has a crush!" she squealed quietly.

"You do realize he'll never tell, right?"

"Do you really want to know?" I asked. Hanji nodded intensely. "It's my roommate."

Their jaws dropped.

"You mean… a _guy_?" Hanji asked, stunned. I ran a palm over my face.

"This is surprising," said Erwin.

"Surprising to say the least," I agreed.

"So are you gay…" asked Hanji. I shook my head.

"I don't know," I said.

Looking back over at where Nick sat, alone as usual, I saw that Braun was standing by his table and talking to him. A ball of jealousy built up in my chest and I clenched my jaw. Hanji giggled at me.

"Why don't you come sit with us?" Braun asked him. Nick seemed surprised but nodded his head, picking up his plate and going to sit with a group of other Cadets. I looked away.

"Looks like Levi's jealous," Hanji whispered to Erwin.

"I can hear you, you know."

"Why have you been sitting alone over there?" Kirstein asked Nick at the next table.

"I… didn't think anyone wanted me to sit with them," he responded a bit shakily.

 _I want you to sit with me_ , I thought. _I want you to sit on my dick._

A chorus of "awws" rang out through the table.

"Well you're here now!" chirped Lenz.

"Yeah," he said to his lap.

Braun laughed and clapped him forcefully on the back.

"Don't be so shy!" he exclaimed with a laugh. "We don't bite."

"Hard," Kirstein added.

"Okay," Nick said. "I just… don't know what to say."

"Just tell us about yourself," Arlert said. Nick froze for a moment before letting out a nervous laugh.

"O-Okay," he said. "I… I, um, have two siblings, a twin sister and an older brother. I don't get along with my parents. I play guitar. And I'm probably the youngest one here."

"How old are you?" Arlert asked.

"Fifteen."

Hanji looked at me with wide eyes.

" _You have the hots for a fifteen-year-old boy?_ " she whisper-screamed. Erwin tried and failed to contain his laughter.

"It's not like I'm doing anything about it," I lied. The memory of the kiss flooded my mind and I almost shuddered.

"Wow," Jaeger said as he wolfed down a chicken leg. "You must be some kind of genius, like Armin here."

Both Nick and Arlert flushed and looked away.

"Thanks," Nick said. "I get that a lot."

It was at that point that I got up and left, striding to the restroom like my life depended on it. The moment I was in a stall I grabbed my head and rubbed my temples.

I was going insane.


	8. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

One Month Later

Nick's POV

We had been in the corps for what? Two months? Less? We had done very little so far, not nearly enough to deserve a reward, in my opinion.

Not that I really considered a dance a reward.

When we were back in our shared apartment I locked myself in the bathroom, just staring at myself in the mirror. Big eyes, long lashes, soft jaw. I was so feminine it hurt. The only thing saving me was my short hair and somewhat flat chest that I bound for good measure. I ran my hands over my face and groaned.

A knock came through the door.

"I need to piss," Corporal Levi said. Blunt as ever. "Are you okay in there?"

I pulled myself together and opened the door.

"I'm fine," I said, brushing past him with my eyes on the floor. He grabbed my arm to keep me from leaving.

"Hold up," he said. "Something's wrong and you're going to tell me."

"I just don't want to go to the dance thing."

"Like you have a choice," Corporal Levi scoffed. "If I have to go then you have to go. I'm not doing this shit alone."

"You have Commander Erwin to hang out with," I said, pulling my arm from his grip and massaging were his hand had been.

He stood there for a moment before speaking again.

"You don't have anything to wear do you?"

"No, sir," I said.

He sighed.

"Alright. I'll take you shopping. Because there is no way you're getting out of this."

"A-Alright," I stammered. "I don't have much money to spare, though."

"I'll pay for you," he said. "Just accept the offer and let me take my piss."

The next day was a Saturday, one of the days we had off from training and the day Corporal Levi decided to take me to a suit shop.

And I was nervous as hell. What if the suit needed altering and I had to take my clothes off in front of the tailor? What if the man who took the measurements accidentally brushed my crotch and noticed that I didn't have a penis? My secret would be out and I would be back on my parents' doorstep. Not only that, but Corporal Levi would be furious at me for lying to him and everyone at the university.

I wanted to throw up just at the thought.

We walked through the shop's door and up to the front counter. A man with a tape measure around his neck was there to help us.

"Welcome back, Corporal Ackerman," said the man. His nametag said he was named Kitz. "What can I help you with today?"

"One of my brats needs a suit for a dance coming up," Corporal Levi said. I stuck my hands in my pockets and crossed my fingers.

Kitz looked at me.

"This must be the young man," he said. "What kind of suit were you looking for?"

"Uh-"

"He'll take something slim. A modern cut," Corporal Levi cut in, saving me.

"Right this way, Mr…" Kitz trailed.

"Johnson," I said quickly. "But you can just call me Nick."

"Right this way, Nick."

Kitz took me into a back room and took my measurements. I was surprised that he didn't find anything suspicious about me; he didn't even have me take off my clothes, and for that I was infinitely grateful. When the measurements were done he had me go into a dressing room and try on several suits, all of which matched Corporal Levi's description.

"When you're done come out and show me," his voice came through the curtain. I jumped.

"Y-Yes, sir," I stammered, looking down at my compressed breasts. It was almost like he was in the room with me.

I buttoned up the white shirt Kitz had given me to try on, then the vest, then the suitcoat, and then the pants. I tucked in the shirt and slipped on the dress shoes, and then turned to the tie that lay on the chair in the corner of the dressing room.

It was a simple black tie, the same shade of black as the rest of the ensemble, but its aesthetic qualities were not what I was distressed about.

I had no idea how to tie it.

"I-I'm ready to come out," I said shakily through the curtain.

"Then come out," Corporal Levi's voice said.

I did.

When I came out Corporal Levi's eyes widened, however little. I looked away and blushed.

"I don't know how to tie a tie," I admitted. I could see him nod from the corner of my eye.

He stood up and got behind me, asking for the tie with his hand. I placed it in his open palm and closed my eyes, trying to ignore the way our bodies fit perfectly together, his chiseled stomach notching into the curve of my spine.

When he was done he instructed me to look in the mirror. When I did I was shocked.

I looked like a boy. A young boy, but a boy nonetheless.

I smiled slightly at my reflection and saw Corporal Levi smirk behind me. He leaned into my ear.

"You look good," he said quietly. I shivered. I wanted him to stop, but I wanted him to say it again. "Although I think you'd look better with a haircut."

I laughed quietly and turned to face him.

"Do you think you could provide that for me?" I asked, twirling a piece of my too-long hair around my finger. He looked away and nodded, a slight flush dusting over his cheeks.

"We'll take it, Kitz," the corporal said.

Levi's POV

I adjusted my tie in the mirror before giving myself a once-over: white shirt, black coat, black pants, black tie, grey vest, black socks, black shoes. I was set.

I left the bathroom to let Nick get ready. Once he was through dressing he opened the door and emerged, looking every bit as breathtaking as when I had seen him in the suit shop.

"Ready?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

He grabbed his phone and shoved it in his pocket before running a hand through his newly-cropped hair. I had to look away to keep myself from kissing him.

"As I'll ever be," he said.

"Then let's go."

We walked down the stairs and across the training grounds to the ballroom, a room on the second floor of the administration building, we walked in and stopped for a moment to admire the decorations, then continued walking towards the food table until Nick was pulled away by his friends. I almost growled at them. Nick was _mine_ , dammit!

I placed a few hors d'oeuvres on a plastic plate and carried it over to where Erwin and Hanji stood.

"Nick looks very nice," Hanji said, gazing over in the direction of my roommate.

"Hands off," I said lowly. Shitty Glasses laughed and ate a miniature crab cake.

I watched Nick as he shyly interacted with his friends. They were close enough that I could hear them.

"You look so nice!" Lenz exclaimed.

"Better than usual," Ymir said with a smirk.

"Thanks, guys," Nick laughed breathily, obviously embarrassed. "Corporal Levi got it for me. Same with the haircut."

"You're shitting me," Springer said. "He doesn't do anything for anyone!"

"You guys are idiots,"Arlert cut in. "Don't you see the way they look at each other in training?"

 _Oh no_.

"W-What do you mean?" Nick laughed nervously.

"I mean that the Corporal hardly ever takes his eyes off of you."

I quickly averted my gaze as they all turned to look at me.

"I don't know what you're talking about. He's not looking at me now."

" _Now_. He's looking at you 90% of the time, though," said Arlert. "I didn't think he would be into guys, but I think he has a thing for you."

Nick turned bright red.

"Come on, guys. I'm a fifteen-year-old boy. There's no way someone his age would want me."

 _How wrong he was_.

"How come he's looking at you now?"

I hadn't noticed it, but my head was turned back towards him. Nick looked at me and flushed even more.

Now was my chance.

"I'll be back," I said to Erwin as I put down my plate and strode to where Nick stood. I held my hand out to him.

"May I have this dance?" I smirked. If it was possible to flush darker than he already was, he did it.

"S-Sure," he stammered, taking my hand. All of his friends stood either slack-jawed or chuckling in their circle.

Bringing Nick to the middle of the dance floor raised a few eyebrows, including the large ones above Erwin's eyes, but I ignored them. I placed my hand on the boy's waist and suppressed a shiver when he put his hand on my shoulder. We clasped our other hands together and we were off.

We didn't do too terribly well. I could tell he had never danced before, at least not with someone else leading. But eventually his flush subsided and our eyes locked.

He gently extricated himself from my arms.

"You know we can't," he said quietly. "At least _I_ can't."

"Why can't you?"

"I'm fifteen!" he hissed. "I'm a minor and you're thirty! You'll lose your job and go to jail, I'll… I'll be…"

I bent down so my mouth hovered above his shoulder.

"You'll be what?" I whispered in his ear.

"Gone. Definitely gone," he laughed nervously as he took several steps away from me. "It's not that I don't want to, it's just that…"

He bolted.

His friends, who had been watching the whole exchange, were taken aback by the motion. Two of the boys, Kirstein and Braun, went running after him. I was frozen for a moment before bolting myself.

I heard them as I entered the long hallway; I guessed they were just around the corner.

"Come on, Jean," Braun begged. "Just leave him alone."

"If he's going to be a faggot, he's going to do it right," Kirstein grunted, like he was pulling something.

"Don't you dare take off my belt, Jean!" squeaked Nick.

 _Oh my God. They were going to rape him_.

"Please don't!" he exclaimed.

"If you don't want it then why don't you stop me?"

 _And he was frozen_.

"I-I c-c-can't move!"

"Faggot. You c-c-can't move. You just don't want to admit you want it."

"Don't pull down my pants, you-"

I turned the corner the moment his pants hit the floor. And there Nick was, pants on the ground, legs splayed over Kirstein's shoulders, Braun and Kirstein staring slack-jawed between his legs.

"You want to explain the situation, brats?" I asked. I had never felt so angry.

Their head whipped around to face me, their eyes as wide as saucers.

"Sir-"

"Don't 'sir' me, you pervert!" I hissed, grabbing Kirstein by the collar and throwing him down the hall. "Don't think I won't report you to the police."

"Sir-" Braun interrupted.

"What?" I snapped.

He turned to look at where Nick lay, pants beside him and crotch covered with…

Panties.

He was wearing panties and there was no bulge. I had to look at him for a moment before it clicked.

The baggy clothes, the botched haircut, the high-pitched voice, the constant nervousness, the feminine facial features, the girl from the news article on his computer, the lack of penis.

This boy wasn't a boy. He was a girl.


	9. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Nick's POV

"Leave," growled Corporal Levi. "The two of us need to have a talk."

I heard two sets of footsteps running down the hall. Once I could hear them no more I heard the rustling of fabric. Something hit my face.

"Put your pants on," Corporal Levi commanded emotionlessly. I knew that voice. That was the voice he had used when he had talked about his parents. That was the voice of pain.

"Yes, sir."

"Tch."

I pulled my pants up my legs and redid my belt before standing up and leaning against the wall, avoiding the corporal's piercing gaze.

"Why?" he asked sharply. "Did you join for the fun of it? The fun of sneaking around?"

"No, sir," I said quietly.

"Did you join because you thought it would be nice to fuck with people's heads?"

"No, sir,"

"Then why did you join the corps as a male when you are. Very. Clearly. Female?"

"I-"

"Never mind. I don't want to hear it. Stay here."

"Yes, sir."

"Save that for Erwin," he hissed at me.

And he was gone, leaving me to slide down the wall and curl up into a ball on the floor. Looking out the window I saw tall pines illuminated by the moonlight, the training grounds, the school buildings. It really was beautiful. It was too bad I wasn't going to stay to see them again.

When Corporal Levi returned he was accompanied by Commander Erwin. The Commander's eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.

"What is going on here?" he asked us. "Why did you drag me out into the corridor?"

"Nick. Isn't. Male," Corporal Levi growled, glaring at me intimidatingly.

The Commander looked at me.

"Are you female, Cadet?" he asked brusquely.

"Yes, sir."

"Are you transgendered?"

"No, sir."

The Commander sighed as he looked at Corporal Levi.

"I hate to lose one of the best Cadets we have, but it's got to be done."

I closed my eyes and nodded even though he wasn't looking at me.

"I'll take… her wherever she needs to go," he said.

"Let me," Corporal Levi said.

"Are you sure that's such a good idea, Levi?"

"Positive."

"Alright then."

Levi's POV

I got… her and her belongings loaded into my car. We left the school premises at around nine, got to her parents' house at ten, and didn't talk the entire way there other than about directions.

When we knocked on her parents' front door they came to the door almost immediately. When they saw Nick they appeared to be overjoyed.

"Nicole!" her mother cried, flinging her arms around her daughter and pulling her into a tight hug. Her father looked like he was trying to be thrilled.

"Thank you very much for returning her to us," her father said. "Where has she been? And why is her hair so short?"

" _She_ has been at the university as a member of the corps," I said coolly. "She has been posing as a boy for the past two months."

"A boy?" asked her father. "I wouldn't have thought she could pull it off."

"Well she did," I said. "Good night."

"Wait!" her mother called. "What is your name?"

"My name is Corporal Levi Ackerman, ma'am. Now good night."

I began walking down their front steps as they ushered Nicole inside. The moment the front door shut…

The sound of skin on skin. And screaming.

"How _dare_ you leave us, you bitch!" yelled her mother. "We do everything for you! We cook, we clean, we make money, and this is how you repay us!?"

I froze.

 _Is this why…_

Nicole said nothing in return, so her father punched or kicked or something-ed her hard enough to make her cry out.

"Looks like they put some muscle on her," he chuckled darkly. "But I'm still stronger."

Nicole still wouldn't say anything.

"I think we have the perfect punishment for you."

After five minutes of silence I called the police. After an additional five they arrived.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?" one asked me.

I explained the entire situation to them, from how Nicole had disguised herself as a boy to how her parents were probably beating her as we spoke.

The moment I finished speaking there was a crash from an upstairs window. Something thudded to the ground. I rushed to the space under the window to find Nicole bleeding from several deep gouges in her arms and legs.

"Over here!" I called to the police. "Somebody get an ambulance!"


End file.
